When you give yourself permission to fail you create a challenge that wasn’t there before. You have to decide what magnitude of effort is sufficient. And then you fail. So it’s like two failures.

This internal conflict about how much effort to exert is making me feel worse.

I suppose it is moot, I bought a pack of pre-rolls and smoked one already. Even though I had the vape cart and the oil it wasn’t giving me the effect I wanted.

[later that night…]

Sitting at the table watching people get drunk around me is definitely not one of my favourite activities. I am glad I am not trying to white knuckle my way through this.